I call this look, "Out of Africa." This desk is cheap awesome.

Fashion is a frivolous universe. Go on. Wear it out.

Bethany Walter, my dear friend and Armor Bijoux jewelry dealer, had the idea for a collective fashion blog. Dubbed “Frivolous Universe” by Kelly Lynae (inspired by a line in this post), we launched just 2 weeks ago, and have been having wickedly good times.

So, I’m lady Thursday on Frivolous Universe. I’ll be using this platform for fancier pictures and more detail shots.

But the cheap, Cheep vibe will run right through.

Check it out.

[Prologue: So this is the story I wanted to tell tonight at Story Story Night. I left a few crucial things out in the live telling, but that's the nature of the beast. But, from what I've learned, the journey is the destination, anyway. So spin it however you want.

I have abbreviated names to somewhat to protect the innocent, and the not so innocent.]

This is a story about wildness, and wilderness, and about what really happens when you sow your wild oats, and are later forced to reap that sometimes bitter fruit.

For me, the wild sowing really started when, at 20, I fell in the love for the first time with my first lover, perhaps the worst possible person to pair with my virginal, idealistic young soul. Let me explain. My upbringing was very sort of Dr. James Dobson Focus on the Family Christian. When time came for sex ed, it was abstinence-only all the way, baby.

We used to have these sex ed books for young Christian teens. They were chose your own adventure. Remember those? You come to a fork in the road. To pick option A you flip to page 20, or to go down path B you skip to page 25. And then see where you end up.

In these sex ed books, any option that involved doing it, no matter how or where or with whom, ended horribly—in pregnancy, abortion, isolation, depression, sometimes suicide. Consequently I had an unhealthy and terrified fascination with sex, and the bohemians who practiced it with abandon.

Bohemians like D. He had long hair and a beard. He was tan with tattoos that, you know, signified everything. He was political, passionate, a wanderer. He was fantastic in bed. He opened up a whole new world to me.

However, his wild oat strewn past was already catching up with him. Then only 25, he had 2 kids by 2 separate women that he rarely saw. He was still technically married to yet another woman then in a mental institution. He had a track record of holding a job or a relationship for about 6 months, then leaving it one day without notice to say, join the Buffalo Field Campaign, or live in and thus save a tree in the Redwoods. He carried a lot of baggage, but had nothing left to lose.

We dated for two years. Off and on. Off with heart-breaking suddenness when he would decide to explore another woman for a while. Then on again when he was done. I do believe deep down he loved me, but it was so, so bad.

So this was the state of misery I was in when I met B. in college. B. was bohemian too, in a more I-wear-only-high-end-outdoor-gear sort of way, but he had long hair and a beard and an anti-authoritarian streak for sure, so. Check. We were just friends, but he had that wild thing about him that I wanted for myself.

So when B. proposed a backpacking trip through the west, the entire west, a 9-month odyssey that would theoretically take us from the deserts of the south starting in the winter to the Yukon by the summer, I was like, “Definitely.”

So we quit college. We got jobs. We saved up. And one day in February, without notice to my soul-numbing phone answering job at DirecTV, and putting an increasingly toxic and codependent relationship with D. on pause, B. and I left on this journey to walk the earth.

So there I was. My entire world in a haphazardly packed pack. Somewhat of a backpacking novice, I ordered all my gear online a few weeks before leaving for dramatically reduced sale prices from the Sierra Trading Post. There were many manufacturers’ defects, like long underwear with the crotch in the back, or unrealistically narrow Italian boots, but they were all I had.

And we were on the road. We had embarked on this trip with all breeds of wild fantasies in our head. We were hopped up on Jon Krakauer’s “Into the Wild” and Edward Abbey books with his environmental freedom fighter monkey-wrenching ways. We wanted to live on the land. We wanted to become one with the earth, and disconnect with society, and abandon all rules. We wanted to discover our true nature.

Starting in the deserts of California and continuing into Arizona, New Mexico and Utah, B. and I backpacked nearly every designated and/or deserted piece of public land we could access.

There’s so much I want to tell you about what the desert does to you. But I don’t have time. I will say that the desert is a surreal beauty, like the hallucinations of a cruel and playful god. The desert gives you a sense of futility and eternity at the same time.

But literally, what the desert was doing to me was not pretty. The Italian shoes were torture to my feet. After only a few weeks my toenails had become these gnarled purple ridges. It actually took two years before they grew back straight again. And my were so chapped and dry from the tight leather that when I took the boots off my turned white and smelled like death that no cream would penetrate. The constant friction of my thighs rubbing together, because even after walking all day every day, I have always had thighs that rubbed together, turned them chapped and purple and unbearably painful.

The plant life was on constant attack, and several times I had fallen and caught myself with a hand or a back or a leg in cacti, the obvious needles are easy if painful enough to get out but the tiny hairs feel like microscopic paperclips that never stop cutting, and stay embedded for months.

And then there was the cruelest entity of all, B. himself. I have a difficult time explaining the subtle and exacting viciousness of B., and what it was like to be alone, utterly alone, in the desert with him for three long months. Except that was reaping the aftershocks of his own wild oats. When, as a teen, I think 15, his parents caught him smoking pot and hanging with the wrong crowd, they sent him to a summer wilderness excursion for troubled youth. Then, on the recommendations of counselors, they left him there. For three years, without any say, he shuffled through these tough love through adventure kind of places, that blend sadism with outdoor survival.

Which is kind of what we were doing here. Bitter and smart, B. excelled at mockery. He made fun of me constantly. For liking U2. For combing my hair, while he left his untouched in greasy dreadlocks. For getting lost, all the time, sometimes overnight. Because with daddy long-legs and insane map reading skills, B. would outpace me within a mile. To solve this problem, he took to hiking behind me with a constant barrage of insults.

Our back to the earth philosophy was not faring much better. We did have some conversations on the nature of man and wilderness and whatever but mostly we shared anti-societal and self-aggrandizing rants. And mostly we just talked about our bowel movements. Because that, in the end, is what two people with nothing else to go on talk about. The size, shape, consistency, color, content. Everything.

I don’t know why I stayed so long in the desert with a sadist. Obviously, I was a kind of masochist. But I know why I ended it. One day, at a ranger station outside the Blue Range in Arizona, I called D.. He had been sending me love letters, touching and hopeful little notes that would give me something to hold on to. But that day I called, he told me he was moving in with a dancer he had just met. Bastard did it again. And standing there, covered in earth, I was finally done. For good. With D. With B.. With the desert. All of it.

I finally realized that if I was going to be lost anyway, I would rather be on my own.

So I came back to Idaho, and immediately found a job working as a front desk ranger for the Sawtooth Forest in Stanley. So there I was on the other side of the desk, all official, a government employee, wearing a badge and green suit. Following regulations for the first time. Living in a mouse-infested double wide trailer with an actual bed in the shadows that felt like paradise to me.

And it was in the mountains and the lakes of the Sawtooths that I learned to hike alone. And read a map. And find my own way out. And pack my bag with what I really need.

And even after all this time, I still don’t regret all the wild oat sowing, though the reaping was excruciating. Because it’s through the wilderness, and the wilderness years, that you find out what you’re really made of.

Thank you.

Jumpsuit Friday. It's a trend.

I love me a jumpsuit on a Friday. This gem (I mean check out those cufflinks), magically, is from the same Idaho Youth Ranch run we’ve been highlighting all week.

Today Dan and I were on Thomas Paul‘s exquise Radio Boise show for Story Story Night. I also need to ride my bike to work my ass off, quite literally. And then attend a birthday cocktail hour at the Gamekeeper. Then the grand opening of Pengilly’s with Jeremiah James. And then work my ass off again.

But you know what? A good jumpsuit makes it all happen, baby.

Outfit breakdown:

JR Nites by Caliendo jumpsuit: $3.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden. I love these old brand names)

Accessories breakdown:

Black clutch: $10 (Renewal)

United Colors of Benetton green suede belt: $0.99 (ReStyle-Orchard + Overland)

Steve Madden green suede kitten heels: $20 (Ross Dress for Less)

Armor Bijoux epic necklace: undisclosed

Total cost: $34.74

Cheep sauce.

2 Quick Tips:

1-Renewal has a rack of clutches by their cash register they sell for about $10-$12 or less. They are typically awesomely clasped, and sometimes come with mirrors and combs and vintagey radness in the inside pockets.

2-If you have short and stubby legs and a long torso like me, high waisted pants can lengthen your whole body. It’s a surprise, and a delight.

Dan pretends to hate to Cheep. You just wait, Costello.

The story of Dan‘s girlfriend-enforced (that’s me) wardrobe transformation odyssey is too harrowing and cliff-hangery to go into now, but suffice it to say, whew. Man Cheep is not easy.

But now, I do nothing. Dan is, at heart, admit it goddammit, an instinctual, skillful and playful dresser.

I sometimes think it’s useful to define a sum-up phrase for yourself to help you easily sort through a wide array of styles and options. Dan’s phrase, after much deliberation, is “rockstar sophisticate.” It’s done us well.

So, as the ladies shopped at the Idaho Youth Ranch this weekend, Dan found some steals of his own, perfect for his rockstar lifestyle.

Outfit breakdown:

J. Rent Ltd.  jacket: $3.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden, half-off orange tag sale. Custom tailored for Philip E. Batt according to the stiching. Dahmmmmn.)

Pyke Ltd. shirt: $3.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden)

Natural Issue pants: $3.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden. Doesn’t that brand sound like a bowel movement?)

Some sort of shoes that are probably straight-up Cheep.

Oh wait now who's feeling like a rockstar? Sophisticate.

Total cost: $11.25

Secret #1 to Man Cheep:

Fit, not Tit.  Dan used to buy ridiculously oversized shirts and jackets. Yes, made for men with man titties.We’ve since learned that the shoulder seam should be no more than about a thumbs width away from the actual shoulder.

Bing. You’ve just been Man Cheeped. For the very first time.

Dan-dendum (courtesy of Dan’s repost of this on his Facebook which proves he loves fashion so, so much):

‎”I’m a model, you know what I mean — and I do my little turn on the cat-walk…”
Seriously, this was a smokin’ sexy outfit, down to the shoes, for a grand total of about $25.

Omissions from the story: Kangol hat, Buffalo Exchange in Burque NM, $6; Bass shoes, IYR on Orchard St. Boise ID, $7.50.

Damn, Dan Costello, what a handsome fellow.

Rock on, International Ladies Garment Workers' Union.

Like yesterday’s vision in blue, this dress comes from the weekend’s Youth Ranch run.

Still bearing the original tags from 20-30 years ago, this dress was made by the International Ladies Garment Workers’ Union in the USA.

Damn ladies. Nice work. I feel like I’m on the set of Mad Men, which is what I aim for (at least in my head) most days. I am Peggy Olsen redux, copywriter for the 21st century.

Outfit breakdown:

Connections dress (new! but vintage): $5.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden)

Banana Republic belt: sale $18, MSRP $80

Accessories breakdown: 

Steve Madden bondage sandles: $12 (Ross Dress for Less)

Total cost: $35.75

Cheep! Now carry on.

Outfit of the day: Monday, Monday, nah, nah.

I have an epic busy Monday, one week to go to the premiere of Story Story Night at our new venue, the Rose Room, at which I’m telling a story that I still need to pull together, but first I’ll teach the Story Story Studio tonight, but not before I execute a few rush projects for my copywriting business.

But first, I Cheep.

I wanted to show you another blue silk beauty. I got this yesterday while shopping for Story Story Night stage design. Fall is going to be bad ass.

Outfit breakdown:

Jorie 100% silk blue dress: $3.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden)

Accessories breakdown:

United Colors of Benetton green suede belt: $0.99 (ReStyle-Orchard + Overland)

Steve Madden green suede kitten heels: $20 (Ross Dress for Less)

Armor Bijoux epic necklace: undisclosed

peacock bracelet: $5 (Buffalo Exchange-Albuquerque, NM)

Total cost: $29.74

Yes, I cut the shoulder pads out of this one too. Easy, breezy, current girl.

The rose period, done as the blue period.

Today, I signed the lease for my first legit office space in the Union Block building downtown.

I am calling this phase in my life the rose period. (Like Picasso’s rose period, I am hoping for an uptick in circus people.) Story Story Night is moving to the Rose Room. And I am ready to bloom. And I’m bringing Cheep with me.

The previous phase in my life was dubbed the blue period on the occasion of my 27th birthday. As a send off to these last 4 years, I give you this vision in blue.

Outfit Breakdown:

Liz Claiborne 100% silk two-piece blue suit w/ shorts: $7.50 (Idaho Youth Ranch-250 N. Orchard Boise, ID 83706)

Tess Studio silk cami: $1.99 (ReStyle-5326 Overland Road, Boise, Idaho 83705)

Total outfit cost: $9.49

Accessories Breakdown:

Agate (or whatever stone this is) necklace: $8 million Turkish lira (circa 2004, so about $6)

RipCurl watch: $36, original MSRP $109 (from Whiskey Militia)

Silver/gold/bronze bracelet: FREE as permanently borrowed gift from sister (Cheep!)

Bandolino blue pumps: $19 (Ross Dress for Less-mall area)

Total accessories cost: $61 + a trip to Istanbul

Cheep! 

I love silk. I love the way it moves and how it feels. I love that it breathes in the summer and acts as the perfect sweat-wicking, warm-upping underlayer in the winter. Thrift stores, like these two stellar spots conveniently located only a few blocks from my house (watch out), have amazing, exquisitely tailored silk pieces for dirt cheap. Usually, it just takes a few snip, snips of the shoulder pads to bring ‘em on up to the 21st century.

I usually don’t wear shorts, but hello. I love me a silky two-piece. I could mix and match both top and bottom to paroxysms of exquisiteness. I will also bike in this outfit and feel and look divine. I believe the ideal outfit should allow you to trade out your high heels (I use a small shoe bag from an old suitcase to keep them in, then put that in my bike basket) for some bike friendly, durable flats. Don’t ruin your nice shoes, but why wear spandex when you can wear this? And why drive a car when you can feel the breeze, baby?

Check for 100% silk on the tags ladies, and get down to business.

Idaho Business Review photoshoot.

Too legit to quit? Indeed.

Because this year, I am one of Idaho Business Review’s 40 Accomplished Under 40. I love it because my business name is “Jessica Holmes Copywriting” so it’s double billing. Cheap, Cheep!

So, they do this special color insert for the accomplished young guns. This year with both a headshot and full body pose. But fear not. Cheep is here.

My shoot was yesterday at the Knitting Factory. When I take photos for Cheep, I usually get about 20 to 30 complete ass-faced idiot looks to every 1 that will suffice I guess. So I’m hoping the photographer maintains a better click rate.

Outfit Breakdown:

Anna and Frank silk blouse $2 (from Restyle-10243 W Fairview Ave, Boise, ID 83704)

Morgan Taylor Studio Italian merino wool skirt $10 (from Saver’s-10475 West Fairview Avenue
Boise, ID 83704)

Leg Impressions tights, 2 for $2 (from Grocery Outlet-5544 West Fairview Avenue, Boise)

Outfit total: $13

Accessories Breakdown:

Armor Bijoux necklace: undisclosed

Tattoo: $100 (from Chalice Tattoo)

Jeffrey Cambell shoes: $60 (MSRP $120 from Piece Unique & Shoez)

Accessories total: $160

Regarding the outfit: Red looks great on me, and silk hangs and photographs beautifully. I look for silk one-tone, well-cut basics when thrift store shopping. Silk also makes a great sweat-wicking and warm-upping under-layer if you like to bike or be active and look hot instead of just hot.

This skirt is a new 100% “pure extra fine merino wool, with yarn imported from Italy” wrap-around, and came from Savers with the original tags. It’s beautiful and exquisite and a timeless closet basic and covers up my lumps and bumps. Even when awkwardly twisting around in a folding chair to smile towards the non-existent crowds while on the stage of the Knitting Factory.

Best of all, Restyle, Savers and a Youth Ranch are all in the same strip on Fairview. So three birds, one run.

Regarding the accessories: Overboard? Perhaps. But the tattoo is my business card ink pen bird (one of four) and will further my brand with every handshake and photograph. The necklace is a legacy piece supporting the fledgling and bad ass business of one of my closest friends, Bethany Walter. And the shoes are awesome.

Thanks to Kelly Lynae for the outfit tips and thrift store runs.

I am flanked by bad ass hot chicks.

My industry, which is advertising (I am an independent copywriter), holds one epic, no-holds-barred awards show every year. Called the Rockies, the event serves as Idaho’s first stage in the national Addy competition, and also as a forum for the 350+ ad peeps in the state to get completely blotto en masse in as little as 20 minutes.

In true Oscar’s style, the organizers pair up presenters to introduce each category and announce the winners. Magically, and probably because I host  Story Story Night monthly without having vomited once, I was asked to be a presenter along with the elites of the agencies. I persuaded my independent designer friend and Armor Bijoux dealer (tagline: “Jewelry for the fashion war.” «We wrote that together. Brilliant.) Bethany Walter to join me on stage.

Rarely do we get these sort of epic dress-up opportunities. I knew I needed something dynamite. And, three weeks ago at Repeat Boutique (500 South Vista Avenue, Boise, ID 83705), I found a vision of wearable vintage art. The craftsmanship and thought that went into this dress is unbelievable. I modestly refer to it as the naked dress. Because as the picture above shows, it looks bare to the navel, but it actually has a smart and sexy nude bodice with an overlay of fine mesh, ornamented with stitched bead and pearl detail that looks like a necklace made for a bad ass queen.

I exaggerate often, but seriously, this is the most f*cking amazing dress I have ever seen in my life. And only $45. My Cheep dress cap is $20-$25, but you have to make occassional exceptions for the epics.

Anyway, when you have such a dress, you must write such a speech. And here is what Bethany and I did, in a very exagerrated way to get the drunkards attention. Bethany’s dress was $100 (half off the $200 MSRP) at Fancy Pants (825 West Idaho Street, Boise, ID 83702). We are both wearing Spanx. Mine for $7 at TJ Maxx. My purple suede shoes were a $45 (half off at Macy’s) birthday gift from my mom and Steve Madden.

***ROCKIES “INTERACTIVE” SPEECH***

[Bethany and Jessica walk on stage.]

Bethany: 

“Interactive and multimedia. This category is epic—a creative battle that pits right brain against left, and good sense against the evil forces of technologically clueless account people.”

Jessica:

“No matter who wins tonight, we all know who the real Jedis are in this category. Programmers, tech geeks, our interactive, interoffice Obi Wans. This is your time. And we honor you now by speaking in only Star Wars metaphors.”

Bethany:

When that Jar Jar Binks from accounts gave you a multimedia assignment from the Dark Side, you pulled a Jedi mind trick, united with the Rebel Alliance on the creative team, and made the jump to light-speed.

Jessica: “Yoda says, ‘Do or do not, there is no try.’ You did, young Skywalker, you did.”Bethany: Now, for the winner. May the force be with you.

Jessica: Congratulations _______________.Jessica: “For our exit, Bethany and I will recreate the most epic blood, sweat and tears battle scene of all time.”

Bethany: “Using the iPhone StarWars Lightsaber Duel app.”

[Bethany and Jessica fight out an exit.]