-
“Reality Bites” outfit
“Évian is ‘naïve’ spelled backward,” said Janeane Garofalo in the 1994 classic, Reality Bites, blowing this then-young Gen X mind on the thin glossy line between commerce and satire. “See you in the ditch!” read the business card for Willie, the tow truck owner in Challis, Idaho, whereabouts my sainted Honda CRV found itself* ass-deep in a freak hotsprings quicksand mud patch. I just...
-
“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” outfit
Lost my ever-lovin mind somewhere between home and the Capitol. For legal reasons, this story will be told exclusively in Eminem “monster” lyrics and batsh*t public displays. “I’ve created a monster‘Cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more, they want Shady, I’m chopped liver“– Without Me, Eminem Monster, you get in my way, I’ma feed you to the monster (yeah)I’m normal durin’ the day,...
-
“Cocky Chick” outfit
The staircase in my art deco dream pad is dramatic and steep. When you turn the corner, you’re surprised with a giant oil painting in a gilt gold frame by my friend Skyler Pierce of girls riding horse-sized roosters in the yard. I remember a few years back, newly single, bringing a beautiful man upstairs, eager for his reaction. “What do you think of...
-
“Not Going Back” outfit
What a month and a half, no? The day of Trump’s near-assassination, I happened to be in Challis with a group of circled-up women, outlining rough plans if a Civil War breaks out after the election. You know. Just in casesies. (Waves white…er….American flag.) I know what I would do, I thought to myself, getting up to go….anywhere else….I would stand in the middle...
-
“Blowin’ in the Wind” outfit
What if you’re so late to bloom you go to seed instead? Motherf…nature. I cannot pinpoint exactly what went wrong this year but it started with sudden weight loss and insomnia and hair loss and skin eruptions and severe unrelenting anxiety and you know when you learn new words to help better define your world? I highlighted ANHEDONIA in the Oxford: the inability to feel...
-
“Yeeeeeehawwww” outfit
For some obscure reason this outfit makes me think of Major Kong riding the nuclear bomb like a bull in Dr. Strangelove. I always thought he said, “Yeeeeehawwwww!” But he actually yells, “Whaaaaahooooo!” So we all learned a bit of annihilation cowboy trivia. I wore this to a saloon-themed awards ceremony, The Rockies, for the Boise advertising industry. I’ve been a writer in this...
Comment 1 -
“Queen of the North” outfit (aka Lucrezia Borgia of the Idaho Wilderness)
By the favor of the free and cheap, Cheep Universe, I ended up on an exquisite hand-painted pink-and-purple wooden Viking ship (ok, a Dory, but it felt like one) floating down the Main Salmon River for six days through the vast Frank Church Wilderness. For weeks before, I had been seeing salmon everywhere. Then a college friend spontaneously asked me if I wanted to...
-
“Desert bougie solitaire” outfit
No one will read this because it’s Treefort in Boise but I’ll write it anyway. I stopped at a thrift store in Las Vegas and bought…everything. This dress says, “I sell crystals to heal your chakras from my Mercedes sprinter van. #vanlife”. My dad gave me this sweet cowboy hat right before I left. It has a Harley Davidson emblem in the middle. I...
-
“The Dunes are Alive” outfit
The Kelso Dunes in the Mojave Desert sing. Like Julie Andrews with less Astroturf. When you break off a swath of sandscape, it vibrates the entire dune in this guttural hum. Earth throat clearings. Over 20 years ago, I camped on the side of this dune while on an “Into the Wild” style backpacking trip. More of an escape. Sand, everywhere. Coyotes, too. Another...
-
“The End of an Era” outfit
It’s the fin de siecle—and fin de this sick outfit. This will be the last time I ever wear this dress. It’s from the 1920s. Over 100 years old. It’s silk and velvet brocade with tassels and a fur-lined skirt. It’s the most exquisite dress I’ve ever owned. And I’ve owned a lot of exquisite dresses. But the seams rip every time I move....
Cheep 