All posts tagged: featured

“self portrait w/ phallus” outfit

Ryan’s daughter, Kelsey, is an artist, and her monstrous art (in a literal way, there are monster masks & sculptures up in here, and it’s fucking fantastic) runs (zombie crawls) throughout the house. I imagine, when painting this self-portrait as a teenager, she was thinking of Egon Schiele. My brilliant friend Jeff introduced me to this artist in college. Not literally, as he would be a zombie, having died at 28 in 1918, but not before he painted sexy studies of local delinquents spread-eagled and such, but like totally brilliantly. I don’t know if it was the early death like Jim Morrison or the vivid red vaginas, but boy, I had a crush on him. I could stare at his oeuvre for hours. This was a test shot, but after an hour of shooting, turned out to be the best shot. Note the phallic still life. I find great joy in flower arrangements. Calvin Klein red dress with sashay – $6.98, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | no shoes, but I know to touch the floor with …

“Mary Ann boinks Thurston Howell III behind the palm trees” outfit

Sorry, Lovey. Sometimes, undersexed on your ensemble-cast deserted island,  you catch a glimpse of each other on the cabana. No matter what the class and age difference, sometimes, things get a bit heated on Gilligan’s Island, like any undiscovered slice of paradise. Hers: Timing sheer red & white polka dot tie top made in Vietnam – $4, ReStyle thrift store | Gloria Vanderbilt black camel-toe-inducing cotton shorts – $5, Serendipity second hand boutique | Steve Madden black braided leather flats – $5.95, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store His-before: Pronto Uomo Navy blue blazer made in Italy, $275 – International haberdashery forgotten \ Coastal paisley patterned cotton short sleeve button up, $12.99 – Ross Dress for Less | Hurley surf trunks, $60 – Kauai, HI circa 2006 \ Rainbow leather flip flops, $45 – San Clemente, CA circa 1996 Then the paparazzi come and ruin the fun for everyone.His-after: Cremiux Sleepwear blue premium cotton post-boinking robe, $150 – Dillards | Passages pinot noir CA circa 2015, $6.99 – Grocery Outlet bargain market (uhh, huh) Hers-after: Tropical bed head and a bad reputation.

“Nice day for a (black +) white wedding” outfit

Friday night, after Ryan and I came home from a gorgeous love-soaked/heat-stroke of a black + white rooftop wedding—too exhausted to take a Cheep photo—I slept in this (sans the hat). I woke up at 6:20 am, sweaty cakey makeup and all, thinking, “What the hell why not. Just put on the hat.” I struggled in the half-light for awhile, almost giving up, then this gorgeous glow infused everything for a time-ticking/camera-dying number minutes. Behold, I finally witnessed the golden hour of the morning. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this up/productive this early. Nice day (post a black +) white wedding. (Cue Billy Idol.) Calvin Klein black cotton w/ white stitched breast pocket – $5, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | vintage 1960s Sears Millinery white straw w/ black velvet ribbon hat -$25, In Retrospect |  DKNY platform wedges – $20, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store The red Apocalypse Now chair is mine. I am slowly creeping in over the threshold. Cheep it up.

“American Revolution” outfit

These colors don’t run. They just become easy targets. “Where are your war-time, manners, sir?” the startled British asked with dying breaths, done up in red, scarlet as the blood issuing from a blue-blooded redcoat. BCX black pinstripe taking-care-of-business vest – $5, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store| Sharagano button-up red cotton spandex skirt – $4.95, ReStyle thrift store | b.tempted blue lace & cream bra w/ cream front bow (inopportunely visible from different vantage points, just like a proper British soldier) | Steve Madden black braided leather flats – $5.95, Idaho Youth Ranch | Accessories… “Kirin” Laurel Burch black, gold & mauve peacock earrings – $10, Serendipity Boutique | locally made “Nasty Girl” iron ball-chain necklace  – post-election gift from a girlfriend | Navajo hand-made hammered brass bracelet – $40, Albuquerque, New Mexico, street vendor in “Old Town” Happy Independence Cheep!

“Cultural appropriation at its whitest” outfit

It’s not quite a feather headdress at Coachella, but it’s got some pale-ass(hole) interloper, Native American cache.  I went to Canyonlands in Utah last week, and hiked a trail called Aztec Butte (that I pronounced “Aztec butt” like a 13-year-old every-time I read it, but only in my head, because I have class-act self-restraint). These Puebloan granaries once held the life-sustaining provisions of desert-crossing native travelers. Now, they provide Instagram-aiming photo backdrops for desert-crossing white tourists. #manifestdestiny? Sideout Hawaiian floral print dress – $5.95, ReStyle made in USA! USA! (“Someday we’ll incorporate you into our fashion, and that’s reparations enough” – national slogan to the disenfranchised) | California Floppy Hat – gift from someone I don’t remember, made in USA! USA! | Grenedene gold flip flops – $10, Nordstrom’s Rack (appropriated from Ryan, who bought them for me) Cheep it up, all you travelers. 

“Cashmere, lace, gator, fur & feathers” outfit

Plus passing cat. I fell in love a spell ago so fell off of Cheep. Eep. Meet Ryan’s house—and his velvet painting underground. I temporarily loaned my apt. to a lovely pair of musicians, Music Box, so this is my new studio. Love. I mean LOVE. Jack Bloom California olive green wool jacket w/ fox fur liner – b-day gift from Ryan $80 @ 20% off for skirt/suit set, In Retrospect | Neiman Marcus cream cashmere sweater – $5,  ReStyle | Heart Soul creme lace skirt, $4, ReStyle | Frye Boots – $400 minus $200 Xmas gift from ‘rentsCheep, love. (Plus cat.)

“Velvet Underground” outfit

In the thick of the most intense snow and ice storms seen in Boise in decades, every morning I send a heat-seeking missile into my closet to find the thing that will cover me most thoroughly. I’ll forsake fashion for warmth like a caveman, when the temperature drops below 20 degrees. Fortunately, there’s plenty of velvet jumpsuits, in the case of my particular closet. Like I’m a sexy 70’s cavegirl, found perfectly preserved (and voguing) under this ice block. vintage 1970s Ronni Nicole Petite by Ouida black velvet jumpsuit – $30, Red Light Clothing Exchange (Portland, OR) | Banana Republic cream lace camisole, ReStyle, $3 | leopard print rubber boots – gift, from Jane Newby (New York) | Black & gold arrow banded belt – $0.94, ReStyle thrift store Cheep Jane.