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“Norwegian lumberjack’s girlfriend” outfit

My imaginary lumbersexual boyfriend in our home rich with hygge and overpriced macrame from Anthropologie.

At a hostel in Sofia, Bulgaria, when I was twentysomething, I met an Israeli guy, Gigi, who successfully claimed insanity to escape mandatory conscription into the army. I found that hot, apparently, because we followed a Lonely Planet write-up to a back alley bar in a barn and downed alcohol as he told me the hidden secrets of the universe.

Like his foot fetish. And a “We are the World” form of sex tourism. He told me about the guys he met who made it their mission to sleep with women in every country in Europe and beyond, notching their suitcases with flags from each nation, like splooge trophies. He told me legends of the hardcore Norwegian girls, wearing the shortest of short skirts in subzero temps. Viking AF. Then, he sucked my feet. And this is why one travels.

Badgley Mischka black mini dress – $40, Gold Mine Consignment in Ketchum, Idaho | Jones New York red & black flannel jacket – $12.99, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Guess red suede stilettos– $5.99, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store [Side Note of No Consequence: Gigi would not be a fan of these heteronormative “sexy” shoes. We passed a Bulgarian shoe store on the walk back to the hostel. “Do you like that shoe?” I’d ask, pointing to something red and pumpy. “No, I like that one,” pointing to a rather Slavic low-heeled black boot. How totalitarian of him.]

Vinyl of the day: ‘So Runs the World Away’ – Josh Ritter

Cheep it round the world.

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“Palest, Most-Uncoordinated Vegas Pole Dancer Goes for Broke at a Hamptons Hoedown” outfit

I hosted Story Story Late-Night tonight. It’s the black sheep of the storytelling family. And it was amazing.

Because up top it’s all, “Hand me a gimlet at the regatta.” Or whatever they say in the Hamptons. And down low it’s all, “Bow chicka bow bow…” *face plant*

Guess multi-colored print strapless dress – $12, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Melissa white plastic w/ tassels & multicolored threaded platform heel – $24, The Gold Mine thrift store in Ketchum
Cheep it all you black sheep.

“80s cheerleader lookin’ to pop her cherry on prom night” outfit

sandracheer3Rawr. Rawr. Siss. Boom. Bah. I did a quick change into this outfit at my last *crosses fingers* comedy show ever tonight, the Boise’s Funniest Person Alumni Show.

I hosted. I did a heartfelt, relevant, funny, decent set. I loved the raw talent and energy. I found my laughs. I found my peace with stand-up comedy. With my stand-up self. Rawr. Rawr.

Cheep_80scheerleadervintage 80s Late Edition Ltd navy ruffle dress with boned bodice with gold lace roses  – $5, private yard sale | vintage Mondi Accessories gold leather three-strap sandals – $5, ReStyle thrift store (made in Italy)

Vinyl of the day: Get Your Ya-Yas Out – The Rolling Stones

Give me a Cheep! It! Up!

“Tiptoe through the Sawtooths” outfit

This vintage postcard sits on my desk at work. Ryan and I camped out on the patch of green on the far side. The fashion photo features the unnamed lake hidden right behind this one-mile glacially-carved wonder called Sawtooth Lake.

Through the Sawtooths. That’s where I’ll be. So tiptoe through the Sawtooths with me.

Call this glamping, backpacking-style. This black w/ gold & silver metallic polka dot dress ($5 but gift from friend – Mountain Home thrift store (and now so worn-out it’s practically see-through) always reminds me of something a superhero would wear on her off time. Wonder Woman’s Lululemon collection.

Record Exchange black & white old-school trucker hat (pilfered from Ryan’s collection, returned dirtier).


Cheep it ’til it’s jagged.

“Everything’s coming up stinking roses” outfit

Guns & Roses by Shepard Fairey

It’s blooming madness.

no label home-made? black & red 

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rose w/ diamond button accents – $15, Once Upon a Time antique store | Cashmere Wrappings 100% silk gray & red flower print scarf – $30, Bombshell & Blokes salon | Calvin Klein black patent leather heels – $7.99, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Vicini red genuine leather geometric belt – $1.99, ReStyle thrift store

Vinyl of the day: “Get Nervous” – Pat Benatar

Cheep it over your head.

“I really don’t care. Do u?” outfit

Melania Trump

First lady Melania Trump boards a plane at Andrews Air Force Base, Md., Thursday, June 21, 2018, to travel to Texas. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)

This is America. Don’t catch you slippin’ up. Look how I’m livin’ now.” – Childish Gambino

We are all a product of chain migration. Because that’s how families—and the United States of America—have always worked.

BCBG Max Azria black front-zip bodice – $3.99, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Step in Style art deco geometric black, cream & pink skirt – $30, Eyes of the World forever agoRalph Lauren blackleather wedge shoes – $7.99, Goodwill in Walla Walla, WA

Ancestry DNA profile – $69, AncestryDNA.com (hopefully I’m not the one who led to the Golden State Killer). St. Patrick’s Day special, because I’m Irish AF. I learned I’m all breeds of poor Great Britain and poor European pale, and I could track my bloodline’s migration here, from Ellis Island and into America, where I got a chance to live.

SAM_6566Vinyl of the Day: Charlie Parker – “Live Sessions”

Cheep it on the borders. Cheep it on the streets.

“Idafornia” outfit

“Don’t Californiacate Idaho” read our bumper stickers in 1999.

To Most Idahoans, A Plague of Locusts Is Californians” read a headline in The Washington Post in 1979.

In Boise and beyond, the buzz is palpable. It’s the low hum of sky-rocketing home prices, boutique businesses, and bourgeouis affairs brought on by an infestation of newly-transplanted Californians.

An Idaho native, I’m torn. I love the energy in the air. I love the rock-solid soulmate surfer man California brought me. I love how delighted he is in my Idaho girl ways. But I feel I’m losing my grip on the land.

Up until he died, JR Simplot gave a speech every year at my alma mater, the College of Idaho, fist-poundingly exhorting in his OG Idaho cowboy way: “Get a piece of land, and HOLD ONTO IT!

So before the Californians eat it all up, I got me a piece of land. And I’m holding onto it.

Fawn & Foal Idaho backbone screenprinted black tank top, $15, Fawn & Foal‘s open studio on First Friday in Garden City

1915 3-bedroom bungalow in historic downtown Nampa with exquisite parquet floors, $177,000