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“Fair game” outfit
“Most intriguing is the link of camouflage to Cubism and its breaking down of the body in modern art. Picasso exclaimed on seeing a camouflaged canon in Paris: “It was us who created that.” While in conversation with Jean Cocteau, he said: “If they want to make an army invisible at a distance, they only have to dress their men as harlequins.”—NY Times (Hiding...
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Crouching Bandwagon, Hidden Tiger
Grrrrrrr…eat. Sometimes, I have trouble jumping on bandwagons. So I wear this hidden tiger dress when I’m feeling a little savage. It’s blend-into-the-background wild. (I also just realized that Tony the Tiger’s catchphrase is a play on “Grrr…” Um, durrr. Grrr…eat is also how you feel after the sugar high of eating Frosted Flakes wears off. #hangry) vintage Honeycomb hidden tiger dress, $?, antique store?...
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“winter in the tropics (aka Antiques Coat Show)” outfit
This winter has been unseasonably warm. Not quite naked-outside-in-a-hammock warm but maybe oh-shit-is-this-global-warming? warm or there-would-be-no-balls-shrinking-in-this-polar-bear-plunge warm. Since I won’t be wearing these beautiful wool and fur creations in the wild anytime soon, I showed them off in the spare room I now call the “tropical oasis”—a nome de plumage stemming from the vintage illustrations on these custom-printed blinds I bought from Etsy-Greece. One...
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“Snake in the grass” outfit
You boys that pick flowers, and strawberries, near the ground, run away from here, a cold snake lurks in the grass. — Virgil, The Eclogues I went to Craters of the Moon with Ryan last week, a surreal landscape shaped from slithering lava rising out of “the Great Rift,” now a vast stretch of scaly encrusted black. Right now I’m watching the news on the...
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“Screwed zebra” outfit
If a pair of zebras needed a wild Air BNB to screw heartily (and look at the size of that schlong—it’s a real heart-stopper), I think this is the room they’d book. Calvin Klein black & white dress – $8, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Liz Claiborne white tuxedo jacket – $1 (sale) – ReStyle thrift store | DKNY platform wedges – $20, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift...
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“self portrait w/ phallus” outfit
Ryan’s daughter, Kelsey, is an artist, and her monstrous art (in a literal way, there are monster masks & sculptures up in here, and it’s fucking fantastic) runs (zombie crawls) throughout the house. I imagine, when painting this self-portrait as a teenager, she was thinking of Egon Schiele. My brilliant friend Jeff introduced me to this artist in college. Not literally, as he would...
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“Mary Ann boinks Thurston Howell III behind the palm trees” outfit
Sorry, Lovey. Sometimes, undersexed on your ensemble-cast deserted island, you catch a glimpse of each other on the cabana. No matter what the class and age difference, sometimes, things get a bit heated on Gilligan’s Island, like any undiscovered slice of paradise. Hers: Timing sheer red & white polka dot tie top made in Vietnam – $4, ReStyle thrift store | Gloria Vanderbilt black...
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“Nice day for a (black +) white wedding” outfit
Friday night, after Ryan and I came home from a gorgeous love-soaked/heat-stroke of a black + white rooftop wedding—too exhausted to take a Cheep photo—I slept in this (sans the hat). I woke up at 6:20 am, sweaty cakey makeup and all, thinking, “What the hell why not. Just put on the hat.” I struggled in the half-light for awhile, almost giving up, then...
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“American Revolution” outfit
These colors don’t run. They just become easy targets. “Where are your war-time, manners, sir?” the startled British asked with dying breaths, done up in red, scarlet as the blood issuing from a blue-blooded redcoat. BCX black pinstripe taking-care-of-business vest – $5, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store| Sharagano button-up red cotton spandex skirt – $4.95, ReStyle thrift store | b.tempted blue lace & cream bra w/...
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“Cultural appropriation at its whitest” outfit
It’s not quite a feather headdress at Coachella, but it’s got some pale-ass(hole) interloper, Native American cache. I went to Canyonlands in Utah last week, and hiked a trail called Aztec Butte (that I pronounced “Aztec butt” like a 13-year-old every-time I read it, but only in my head, because I have class-act self-restraint). These Puebloan granaries once held the life-sustaining provisions of desert-crossing native...
