Month: November 2015

“Portal to Another Dimension” outfit

“I would go as far as I could and hit a wall, my own imagined limitations. And then I met a fellow who gave me his secret, and it was pretty simple. When you hit a wall, just kick it in.” —Patti Smith I read Just Kids on the plane back home. The book is a wardrobe-esque passageway into the Chelsea Hotel and New York City of the ’60s and ’70s. As seen through the looking glass/lens of Patti Smith—and the snapshots of Robert Mapplethorpe—from the perspective of when they were both nobodies. Just some hungry, curious, passion-struck bodies—risking poverty and vertigo to plumb the depths of art, their voices, their setting, their souls. At the end of Rauschenberg’s reflecting pool, in front of his giant Studio, stands an off-kilter stone sculpture. “Hey, hey,” I would whisper conspiratorially to anyone around, those just dipping their toes in, “This is a portal to another dimension.” They blinked back at me, lizard-like, unsaying, “OK, weirdo.” But I went through it. This is what I found: Fear is a thin membrane. And …

“The future is unwritten” outfit

During our tour of Rauschenberg’s Captiva compound, I took a lopsided picture of this print on the wall of one of the Studios. “The future is unwritten,” it said. To say everything unsaid. This is the white hut where the writers go to write. This is the white path made of tiny white shells that leads to the hut where the writers go to write. It is all light. And all white. Except the inside. That is dark rich wood. That smells of cedar. Inside, there is a desk for you to write. A green chair to sit. To sweat it out into the white. Lauren Conrad flower print top $3.75 Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store  (I accidentally broke this top because I used it as an impromptu swim suit, then skinny dipped in a bioluminescent plankton glow high, and put it on rather hastily. Salty tears.)  | Bill Blass Sport hot pink button up top $7 – Bend, OR Goodwill | Official Boy Scout green cargo shorts with gold snaps and gold studs lining the pockets, $12, LUX Fashion Lounge) …

“Captiva” outfit

I spent the last 5 days at the late great artist Robert Rauschenberg‘s compound on Captiva Island, Florida. The heat a record high. The humidity druggy. The experience magic born of darkness and light. Rumor has it, Captiva is named for the misdeeds of the infamous pirates who roamed here in the early 1800s, exploiting the isle to hold female prisoners for ransom. Instead, I was flown in, with enthsiastic consent, by the extraordinary Robert Rauschenberg Foundation, his legacy nonprofit that dropped a $30k money bomb on Story Story Night‘s lap 2 years ago. Back then, even after phenomenal popularity, we were barely making it as an organization, and as human beings, honestly. I was lost in a horrifying, devastation-slash-stage-stricken major depressive episode. All live and without notes. Even with sold out shows stoked by nervous energy, Story Story Night‘s budget barely squeaked by. Behind the scenes, we had no structure, no nonprofit status. I felt like a husk. Deep inside a panicking, burning, and weeping body, I thought everything I loved was actually a parasite—eating my soul …