All posts tagged: thrift store clothes

“Snake in the grass” outfit

You boys that pick flowers, and strawberries, near the ground, run away from here, a cold snake lurks in the grass. — Virgil, The Eclogues I went to Craters of the Moon with Ryan last week, a surreal landscape shaped from slithering lava rising out of “the Great Rift,” now a vast stretch of scaly encrusted black. Right now I’m watching the news on the mass shooting in Las Vegas. What will stop this firepower? And what sort of warped country will it leave in its wake? BCBG Generation black & tan snake-print flap dress with built-in black spandex miniskirt – $8.95, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Frye ‘Sacha Moto’ black leather shooties – $100 (MSRP: $278), Bombshell Salon‘s Head to Boots Fall Make-Up Event («the next one is THIS SATURDAY, and it’s a bad-ass party to celebrate the 5th b-day of Bombshell Salon, come! Get cheap-ass new Frye Boots!)Ryan marvels at the oddity of native Idaho creatures. Featuring, at upper right, the real moon. Cheep it up to the moon and back. Advertisements

“Screwed zebra” outfit

If a pair of zebras needed a wild Air BNB to screw heartily (and look at the size of that schlong—it’s a real heart-stopper), I think this is the room they’d book. Calvin Klein black & white dress – $8, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Liz Claiborne white tuxedo jacket – $1 (sale) – ReStyle thrift store | DKNY platform wedges – $20, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store Etta Benjamin Cien gold floral art – $150, Renewal (Ryan bought this, obvi, as this is his guest bedroom, which he unfortunately does not rent out some Air BNB of the savanna) Cheep it in the hinterlands.

“Cosmic Connections” outfit

If I made a dating app, I would call it Cosmic Connections. It would be designed with vintage 1992 graphics and the spokesperson would be Aunt Cleo. If you swipe up, she’d pop up like a soothsayer Carl Sagan with a shot from outer space, as if to say, “the universe is infinite and we all be stardust, so don’t you worry man.” Dating reality check. Thanks Aunt Cleo. Anyway, I realized when I joined Tinder for a brief spell (review: You feel like the Bachelorette for several weeks, until, after several elimination rose ceremonies, you realize most of the guys there are just as douchey as most of the guys on the Bachelorette), that I had no actual outfits to wear on dates that didn’t send up immediate weirdo red flags. So this is my version of a date dress. It’s like, so cosmic man. (And like “normal,” right? Right? Riiiiight…). Jonathan Martin cosmic stripes on black print wrap dress – $8, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Damiani (made in Italy) bronze & gold sandals, $5, Idaho Youth Ranch …