My imaginary lumbersexual boyfriend in our home rich with hygge and overpriced macrame from Anthropologie.

At a hostel in Sofia, Bulgaria, when I was twentysomething, I met an Israeli guy, Gigi, who successfully claimed insanity to escape mandatory conscription into the army. I found that hot, apparently, because we followed a Lonely Planet write-up to a back alley bar in a barn and downed alcohol as he told me the hidden secrets of the universe.

Like his foot fetish. And a “We are the World” form of sex tourism. He told me about the guys he met who made it their mission to sleep with women in every country in Europe and beyond, notching their suitcases with flags from each nation, like splooge trophies. He told me legends of the hardcore Norwegian girls, wearing the shortest of short skirts in subzero temps. Viking AF. Then, he sucked my feet. And this is why one travels.

Badgley Mischka black mini dress – $40, Gold Mine Consignment in Ketchum, Idaho | Jones New York red & black flannel jacket – $12.99, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Guess red suede stilettos– $5.99, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store [Side Note of No Consequence: Gigi would not be a fan of these heteronormative “sexy” shoes. We passed a Bulgarian shoe store on the walk back to the hostel. “Do you like that shoe?” I’d ask, pointing to something red and pumpy. “No, I like that one,” pointing to a rather Slavic low-heeled black boot. How totalitarian of him.]

Vinyl of the day: ‘So Runs the World Away’ – Josh Ritter

Cheep it round the world.