“Do you know how fast you were going?” the state trooper inquired, inching down his aviators.

He lay in wait in a mirage-like speed trap on the desert highway. I spotted him too late, then caught him creeping out onto the highway in the rearview.

“Fuck.” This vintage white Caddy with the blood red interior must look like a drug dealer’s wet dream.

I fluttered my Bambiest of doe eyes. “I actually don’t. This only goes up to 85.” I gestured to the speedometer, that did, in fact, cap off at the age of the grandmas usually behind the wheel of this particular old-school luxury vehicle.

A wry grin flashed across his face, turned on as instantaneously as those red and blue lights.

When he came back, he gave me a warning, and this cogent piece of advice, “If that needle gets to 85, slow down!”

Jessica McClintock maroon(ed) long sleeveless dress – $3.99, ReStyle Thrift Store | ADAY Something Borrowed black traveling button up shirt – $125, thisisADAY.com | Crocs (but the fashion-y kind) black fleece-lined slip-ons – $20, Crocs.com

Kim got this amazing shades-of-blue winged cotton jumpsuit at ReStyle on the same visit, probably $4.99.

1993 Cadillac DeVille with only 86,000 grandma-driven miles – $3,000, Boise’s Best Auto Sales (thanks to Ryan for tracking down/loaning me the $$$$)

Speed Cheep