Scene: Alice through the looking glass in the Velma Morrison Center bathroom during the premiere of LED’s “Jabberwock,” wearing a portmanteau print mix that feels like an idyllic garden scene that goes down the rabbit hole. Josh purple floralscape dress – $2.75, ReStyle thrift store | no label Brown and green silk taffeta jacket that looks like bark and electric moss – gift | brown suede & fringe jacket – gift | vintage bakelite & yellow leather purse – $20, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | ADAY Crop & Roll Leggings grey – $125, ADAY | burgandy boots – $50 on sale, Riverwear in Stanley, ID

How I lost it all? Likely, it happened as I walked down the street, hands in pockets, unconsciously fumbling with my iPhone. An unseen swipe to the left. An unintentional tap of red button. Thusly, I deleted the entire text message history between my ex and me. Two years of intimate archives, burned up like illicit letters in a Victorian fireplace. You think there’d at least be a two-step pop-up warning: “Are you sure you want to delete this relationship?” I couldn’t quite come to grips with my melodramatic grief after 4 separate attempts with recovery software failed to retrieve the lost missives (and dick pics). It felt like the end. A more absolute and definitive end than the actual end, holding each other in the early morning after breaking up in his bathroom, as I said, “Can this not be the end? Can we at least take today and this not be the end?” vintage Jonathan Martin black dress with weird 80s flounces at the hip– $4.99, Restyle thrift store | Banana Republic braided tan & black leather …

We hope you have enjoyed the show. We’re sorry but it’s time to go. We’d like to thank you once again. It’s getting very near the end. no label vintage flower-print & black empire waist dress – $12.99, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store |Ralph Lauren studded black suede & wood high-heeled mules – $5, Good Samaritan thrift store (MSRP $100) Derry mid-century modern velvet sofa in sapphire – $620, Wayfair.com | local black walnut coffee table – $750, custom-made byDerek Hurd at Studio 12-12 | Gorgeous rug – gift from my ex | 1972 flower painting – gift from my ex | Mars metallic lamp – long-ago gift from my ex-ex Cheep it with a lonely heart.

Because up top it’s all, “Hand me a gimlet at the regatta.” Or whatever they say in the Hamptons. And down low it’s all, “Bow chicka bow bow…” *face plant* Guess multi-colored print strapless dress – $12, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Melissa white plastic w/ tassels & multicolored threaded platform heel – $24, The Gold Mine thrift store in Ketchum Cheep it all you black sheep.

Rawr. Rawr. Siss. Boom. Bah. I did a quick change into this outfit at my last *crosses fingers* comedy show ever tonight, the Boise’s Funniest Person Alumni Show. I hosted. I did a heartfelt, relevant, funny, decent set. I loved the raw talent and energy. I found my laughs. I found my peace with stand-up comedy. With my stand-up self. Rawr. Rawr. vintage 80s Late Edition Ltd navy ruffle dress with boned bodice with gold lace roses  – $5, private yard sale | vintage Mondi Accessories gold leather three-strap sandals – $5, ReStyle thrift store (made in Italy) Vinyl of the day: Get Your Ya-Yas Out – The Rolling Stones Give me a Cheep! It! Up!

Through the Sawtooths. That’s where I’ll be. So tiptoe through the Sawtooths with me. Call this glamping, backpacking-style. This black w/ gold & silver metallic polka dot dress ($5 but gift from friend – Mountain Home thrift store (and now so worn-out it’s practically see-through) always reminds me of something a superhero would wear on her off time. Wonder Woman’s Lululemon collection. Record Exchange black & white old-school trucker hat (pilfered from Ryan’s collection, returned dirtier). Cheep it ’til it’s jagged.

It’s blooming madness. no label home-made? black & red  rose w/ diamond button accents – $15, Once Upon a Time antique store | Cashmere Wrappings 100% silk gray & red flower print scarf – $30, Bombshell & Blokes salon | Calvin Klein black patent leather heels – $7.99, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Vicini red genuine leather geometric belt – $1.99, ReStyle thrift store Vinyl of the day: “Get Nervous” – Pat Benatar Cheep it over your head.

“This is America. Don’t catch you slippin’ up. Look how I’m livin’ now.” – Childish Gambino We are all a product of chain migration. Because that’s how families—and the United States of America—have always worked. BCBG Max Azria black front-zip bodice – $3.99, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Step in Style art deco geometric black, cream & pink skirt – $30, Eyes of the World forever ago | Ralph Lauren blackleather wedge shoes – $7.99, Goodwill in Walla Walla, WA Ancestry DNA profile – $69, AncestryDNA.com (hopefully I’m not the one who led to the Golden State Killer). St. Patrick’s Day special, because I’m Irish AF. I learned I’m all breeds of poor Great Britain and poor European pale, and I could track my bloodline’s migration here, from Ellis Island and into America, where I got a chance to live. Vinyl of the Day: Charlie Parker – “Live Sessions” Cheep it on the borders. Cheep it on the streets.