Some days you wake up after a night of crazy intense summer rain craving a Prince mohawk. Luckily, you have the pants to match. They’re not quite blue and not quite purple, but blurple (Liz Claiborne, Idaho Youth Ranch, $6), just as enigmatic as the artist-formerly-known-as.

I paired these with a Maggie Lawrence Sport black button up top (circa 1980s) from ReStyle ($3) that I just noticed is size 22/24. Sometimes, too big tops can be sexy-ish, if you button them up halfway, and wind/movement shows off your figure in blasts, and they slip off your shoulders for generous side bra/boob. But sometimes, Jessica might need to clean out her closet. The jury is still out on this one.

Cap that, or bottom it, with black patent leather Guess stilettos from ReStyle for $7. I must admit, I am anti-high heels for women’s equality, longterm bunions, and ability to run quickly reasons, but I must say, damnnnnnn, they make an outfit look so much hotter. When thrift store shopping for shoes, I look for the rarely-if-never worns. These are fairly common, not just Pretty Woman fantasy, especially when you ask to see the shoes tucked in display behind the counter. Then I check out the brand name, materials (I prefer leather upper as they tend to mold to your actual human-based feet better) and place of origin (I’ve noticed Brazil is the tits for legitimate, long-range, non-pain-inducing wearability). If the stars align, I will put the cheaply purchased but exquisite heels in my closet in daily eyeline so I’ll stare at them while I think about how much easier and more comfortable it would be to wear flats. But then the heels cry out to you:

I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted one time to see you laughing
I only want to see you laughing in the purple rain
Vinyl of the Day: The Best of the Velvet Underground (only because I have no Prince albums…yet).

Cheep!