Author: Jessica Holmes

“Captiva” outfit

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I spent the last 5 days at the late great artist Robert Rauschenberg‘s compound on Captiva Island, Florida. The heat a record high. The humidity druggy. The experience magic born of darkness and light. Rumor has it, Captiva is named for the misdeeds of the infamous pirates who roamed here in the early 1800s, exploiting the isle to hold female prisoners for ransom. Instead, I was flown in, with enthsiastic consent, by the extraordinary Robert Rauschenberg Foundation, his legacy nonprofit that dropped a $30k money bomb on Story Story Night‘s lap 2 years ago. Back then, even after phenomenal popularity, we were barely making it as an organization, and as human beings, honestly. I was lost in a horrifying, devastation-slash-stage-stricken major depressive episode. All live and without notes. Even with sold out shows stoked by nervous energy, Story Story Night‘s budget barely squeaked by. Behind the scenes, we had no structure, no nonprofit status. I felt like a husk. Deep inside a panicking, burning, and weeping body, I thought everything I loved was actually a parasite—eating my soul …

“Rapture, Blister, Burn” outfit

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I’m going to see this play at Alley Repertory Theater in the Visual Arts Collective in less than an hour, so I don’t yet know what that title means, but damn, I know how it feels. Like brands seared beneath the skin, those scattered scarlett letters. Banana Republic gray see-through silk top – $5 Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | milano, italia Alcantara fake suede orange skirt – $19.99 Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store, vintage 1970s? | Nine West gray snakeskin heels – $3.95 all leather upper, made in Brazil | Geode gold necklace – $54, Bricolage | Chia orange leather Victorian bomber jacket – $7.99 Serendipity Boutique vintage 1980s? Made in Korea Vinyl of the Day: “Music of Another Present Era” by Oregon Cheep!

“There’s Fire” outfit

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The weekend before this controversial Columbus Day one, I drove to McDermitt, Nevada to see my friends Ned Evett & Music Box play a show at the Say When Casino, which even the owners admit resembles a David Lynch movie set in the old west of the uncanny 1970s. On the drive back through fire-blighted rural desert Oregon, I followed a sign down a dirt road to this gravesite for Jean Baptiste Charbonneau, the youngest member of the Lewis & Clark expedition, born to Sacagawea and a Metis French Canadian. He traveled the world and mountain manned the West; spoke several languages; suddenly caught ill and died here in 1866. Listed on the National Register of Historic Places, his gravesite is now littered with modern-day sun-burnt offerings—mementos of hard desert living. A pink leopard print bra, folded in half and secured under a rock. A full mason jar of either sickly piss or potent moonshine. A sunbaked acid-eyed toy giraffe gnawing on the straw-capped head of a plastic boy doll who’s either playing a horn or smoking a very large pipe. Who can …

“Where There’s Smoke…” outfit

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Red alert. A fire in Grimes Creek is filling the Treasure Valley with smoke. When you wake, it smells of a campfire built at midnight right outside your window. Downtown turns into a hazy wilderness. As does your mind. It reminds me of the end of “Smoke,” a short story by the Boise-based writer Alan Heathcock, from his brilliant collection Volt. I went to see the film adaptation this weekend at the Death Rattle Writers Festival in Nampa, Idaho. The ending line of this story, as the film ended too, never fails to bring hot, stinging tears to my eyes, unbidden: “All that smoke was now just the air we breathe.” And then that Billy Joel song rolls through my ignited tumbleweed mind: “We didn’t start the fire / It was always burning / Since the world’s been turning / No we didn’t light it / But we tried to fight it.” Diane Freis bohemian beaded silk flower print dress (vintage 1980s) – $30, Acquired Again Antiques | Handmade Custom Leatherworks plaid wool & leather vest – $5, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Frye boots – $200 | Geode gold necklace …

“Pink, Pink, Pink, Pink, Orange Moon” outfit

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“Saw it written and I saw it say Pink moon is on its way And none of you stand so tall Pink moon gonna get ye all And it’s a pink moon Hey it’s a pink moon Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink moon” But it’s orange, I told Nick Drake, annoyed at the inaccuracy of his disembodied musings in my earbuds as I walked in the dark of the Boise foothills for 2 hours witnessing the eclipse of the supermoon. Somehow, it reminded me of that knock-knock joke, “Orange you glad I didn’t say banana.” But on a cosmic level. Bill Blass Sport hot pink top $7 – Bend, OR Goodwill | Lauren Conrad flower print top $3.75 Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | WCM New York genuine python tan belt $4.75 – Idaho Youth Ranch| Forever 21 black lace cutout leggings $20 – Forever 21 (I am not, however, 21) | Nine West gray snakeskin heels $3.95 all leather upper; made In Brazil – ReStyle thrift store | Geode gold necklace $54, Bricolage Vinyl of the Day: “Pearl” Janis Joplin (The …

“Weather Vain” outfit

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“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.” This outfit—and the frenetic Boise weather today—reminds me of Bob Dylan’s Subterranean Homesick Blues. (Which, why yes, I do have that song memorized, just in case you are ever lucky enough to rue the day you went backpacking with me and I rap it in its entirety as we are lost and forlorn on the once-extant trail.) “Johnny’s in the basement / mixin’ up the medicine / I’m on the pavement / Thinkin’ about the government / Man in the trench coat, / Badge out / Laid off /Says he’s got a bad cough wants to get it paid off / Look out kid / It’s something you did / God knows when / But you’re doin’ it again…” Merona pink & teal abstract flower print top, $3.75, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store; Dizzire black & white print pants-vintage circa 1980s (yes, that’s considered vintage now, bastard youth), $7.50, Serendipity Boutique (consignment & second hand); Steve Madden black leather wedge boots, $9.95, Idaho Youth Ranch …

“Tonight Will Be More Fun Than Last Night” outfit

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Tonight, someone said my look reminded her of the actress and activist Jean Seberg, wearing a New York Herald Tribune t-shirt, in the Jean-Luc Godard classic French New Wave film, “Breathless.” I replied with compliment-triggered paroxysms and (only in my head in a terrible accent), “Bien. Merci.” Hugo Buscati Collection red silk circus jacket, $8, Restyle | Cheap ass black leggings, $25 for a 2 pack, Costco | ‘Tonight will be more fun than last night’ silk-screened t-shirt, $3.75, Idaho Youth Ranch | Guess stilettos, $11, Idaho Youth Ranch | Geode gold necklace, $68 @ 20% off (I can’t do math, OK), Bricolage Then we danced frenetically to the Boise-based Basque rock band, Amuma Says No. Because this place is awesome. And there is an afterlife. Tonight will be more fun than last night. You called it again, t-shirt. Even if it means your house still remains a sty 4 days post Story Story Night. Vinyl of the Day: “Treasure Island” by Keith Jarrett Cheep!

“PARADiSE” outfit

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Every outfit speaks volumes. Sometimes right on the tag. On the front, this one says in a sexy 1980’s cursive: Sophistication. On the back, a fantastical creation story: MADE IN INDIA  Congratulations on your new purchase. This dress from our sequin and beaded collection has been entirely handcrafted. It takes a team of 5 skilled workers 15 to 20 days to complete one dress.  All those hands. All that meticulous stitching. All for a sophisticated $99.50 American dream. Yet there the tag hangs, still attached to the dress, like an albatross on an unforeseen 30 year tour. Over time, this vision of sequins and silk—trapped in a closet, beautiful and unworn— turns into nothing but a missed opportunity, then a waste of space. So it spends a brief purgatory in a thrift store in Boise. Before it arrives at last at PARADiSE: Stories of Buying a Stairway to Heaven. For $18.75. This is the fortune I gain from the tag story: You can find immeasurable beauty and riches that cost you next to nothing. But you will have to dare to look in unexpected places. Sometimes, you …

“Generic Landscape Hotel Art” outfit

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It speaks of bland escapes. Vacations hinged on chain hospitality. The birds of the beach and the brushstroke green of the backcountry as seen on the walls of a Motel 6 in the middle of nowhere. I can blend in anywhere. I’m a total wallflower. Who put a bird on it. Collective Concepts green & gray dress, $15 (LUX). Black Rainn sheer bird shirt, $14 (Serendipity Boutique). Kate Spade nude wedges, $70 (ROSS Dress for Less in Portland, originally $300). Gold & glass landscape necklace, $5, Idaho Youth Ranch. Gold bracelet combo, gifts from sisters. Album of the Day: “Inner Space” by Chick Corea Cheep!

“Light Adjustments” outfit

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I run (albeit slowly) in the foothills at sunset. (I know that sounds sketchy (mom), like the first line you’d hear on an episode of Dateline NBC.) I’ve been digging for fire. I’ve been seeking out the Golden Hour. Those bright, illuminated moments—somehow strikingly different with every waking (and winking) day—right before and after the rise and the fall. I always feel my timing is off. That I’m perpetually running behind the most brilliant moments. Just catching the glimpse of the aftershock, colors fading to muted desert greens and purples. But it still counts. The fading light captures me, instead. Hawaiian Moon sage green silk dress, gifted. Two overlapped “genuine” leather belts, one gray (Idaho Youth Ranch-$5.75), one leopard print (Restyle, $2). Kenneth Cole strappy platforms, $7 (Serendipity Boutique). 2 overlapped bracelets, both gifted to me by my sisters. Vinyl of the Day: Simon & Garfunkel Vol. 1 Cheep!