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“EXPOSED: I Did What?” outfit

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“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago

This outfit was for Storyfort‘s launch party to introduce the Treefort exclusive theme and show by Story Story Night, EXPOSED: I Did What? Stories. Somehow, no matter how blindly, I always live out the theme, with every beat of my raw and real heart.

True to form, and theme, this event made a live segment of channel 6 news tonight, exposing my mug during the one story I really just wanted to release to the sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll ether of Treefort, for just the launch of Storyfort.

But there’s no such thing as my own private Idaho. Because there are more than 2 sides to every story. Stories are a prism, reflected back.

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Pamela McCoy rock-and-roll black leather with brass eyelets jacket, $12?, ReStyle. BCBGeneration teal dress with mesh black top, $3.89, ReStyle. Express bleached distressed jeans, $12?, Serendipity. Steiger navy blue heels with brass eyelets, $7, ReStyle. White tassel earrings, birthday gift.

“Um…like…totally CLUELESS” outfit

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Clueless-Cher-Red-Plaid
With themes based on 90’s movies, it’s been a blast from the recent past at Story Story Night this season. Like tonight was CLUELESS: Airhead & As If Stories.

I usually exploit my outfit as my first joke/theme intro, and I really wanted to call this one “Cher from Clueless Becomes Hillary Clinton’s Stylist,” because no one rocks a matching, totes profesh two piece (slash pantsuit) like those two ladies. Unfortunately, though I searched most of the thrift stores in Boise at the last minute looking for a yellow plaid pantsuit (because, like, duh, perfect Cher/Clinton synergy), I only had a red plaid combo that Hillary would likely never be caught dead in (because Republican red state fashion bias) that I had to make into a Cher-style mini-skirt with safety pins and duct tape. Also my only knee highs are super weird and look like a wild animal clawed them up on the sides. My red Gucci bag is a definite knock-off. And since I don’t quite have Cher’s thigh gap, I had to sit down very carefully with the aid of a shielding red hat. But the very long explanation of the thought process surrounding this outfit ended up being pretty funny, and like, totally clueless.

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Pendelton red plaid painsuit (which is actually long enough to wear to an actual business meeting if you take down all the safety pins and duct tape), I totally spaced where I bought it, and how much it was, but suffice it to say: thrift store, cheap | Matching red plaid hoop earrings, ummm…like also a thrift store? I’d say, Idaho Youth Ranch, for like $2 | Steiger blue heels with brass eyelets (Made in Brazil), for like, I think $7 and some random change from ReStyle, like totally.

Song of the Night: “Valley Girl” by Frank Zappa

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“Joy Division” outfit

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Belljar cmboInside my head, everything is changing. Like spring for a brain stuck in a perpetual winter.

My depression came back this winter (because it thinks it’s my best friend from way back, but it’s really just an intrusive asshole forever creeping at my psyche’s door like the Dementor in Harry Potter or maybe that death spirit who looked for the blood of the lamb on Israeli doorposts before smiting most of the first born sons of ancient Egypt. What a stalkery, judgmental, passive aggressive prick of an angel, am I right? (And also, there’s a freaky amount of baby-killing in the Bible.) But all this only makes sense if you’re into Exodus, and mental illness, and off-beat metaphors). Anyway, I finally cried the celestial “uncle.” I am finally taking Wellbutrin, and for the first time, treating this like a boss. Taking fucking care of business, is what I mean, brain-chemistry-wise.

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Glass terrarium necklace & belt close detail.

It’s been pretty intense. I feel so much. And I forgot how to feel so much, except for 50 distinct levels of sad, like the Eskimo word for snow. Now I feel the full spectrum of things. All of the things. Love and stress and frustration and anger and exhiliaration. At probably the most intense time—professionally and personally and financially—in my so far pretty intense life.

No one talks about the sensory overload when the bell jar finally lifts. But spring cannot exist inside a bell jar.

So to spring, and to everything, I say: Fuck yeah. Bring it.

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Brown and green silk taffeta jacket (unlabeled) that looks like bark and electric moss (gift) | Acid green silk scarf, ReStyle thrift store, $1 | Banana Republic cream lace camisole, ReStyle, $3 | Glass terrarium necklace with jasper, moss and lavender, Wintry Market, $40. | Leather and elastic brown belt, Idaho Youth Ranch, $2 | Trevira purple and blue skirt (gift) | BCBGeneration purple platforms, Macy’s, $40 (sale!)

Album of the Day: The Grateful Dead, “Wake of the Flood”

“Man Repeller no. 451” outfit

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Dedicated to the real Man Repeller.

2.Izannah Walker Christmas Party from Antique Doll Collector resized

Or “How to lose a guy(‘s boner) in one dress,” if this were a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson and a flaccid Matthew McConaughey.

I wore this tonight to Story Story Night‘s REALiTY BiTES: Stories of Eating It. Opening the show, I mentioned that guys can’t quite put a finger on it. And while they might play around with the idea that this dress resembles something a schizophrenic grandma would sew for her antique prairie doll collection, they know one thing for certain: They do not want to have sex with it.

And to that I say, touché. But I shall wear it anyway.

SAM_4361vintage Diane Fre’s purple print ruffle dress, $14.99 – Idaho Youth Ranch | Steve Madden black leather mules, $39 – Nordstrom’s Rack | White tassel earrings, birthday present

This is my kiss off face. Quoth Amy Poehler, “I don’t care if you like it.” (I also included a cat and a doll collection in this post to up my man repellant street cred.)

SAM_4348PS: So I posted this on the social medias this weekend…

“Found 2 glorious Diane Fre’s dresses at the Idaho Youth Ranch for $14.99 each, and I’m not gonna lie, this is how I get off most Saturdays.”

And some witty peeps came up with brilliant companion hashtags in the comment section. So please add these to your Twitter lexicon.

#thrifterbation   #vintjaculation   #retrOhOhOhOh   #multiplescoregasm

Cheep!

“Hell’s Secretaries”outfit

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HellsAngels23Because even outlaw biker gangs should take good notes.

Anna Kriste vintage cream blouse, $3.88 at ReStyle | Carlisle black leather vest, $3.88 at ReStyle | Blazing pink skirt (no tag), $5 at ReStyle | Frye “Paige” riding boots, $120 at LUX Fashion Lounge (MSRP: $388) | Terrarium glass necklace (with jasper, moss and lavender), $40 at Wintry Market.

Cheep_0108_2016Inspired by the Hell’s Angels in the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. What I would’ve done to be Ken Kesey’s secretary.

“Wildaho” outfit

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Terrarium glass necklace with jasper, moss and lavender: $40 at Wintry Market.

This Wildaho t-shirt was designed by Toby Robin, the amazing graphic illustration rockstar I met while copywriting at Oliver Russell, who designed Story Story Night‘s logo and first 2 years of jaw-dropping posters, who now mans Neighborhood All-Stars.

I bought this t-shirt over the holidays at the El Korah Shrine—the electric, electric venue where we hold our storytelling shows in the winter and spring—at the Wintry Market run by Amy Pence-Brown. She told at a story at our past Starry Story Night, but first stripped down that summer in a black bikini at our local farmer’s market in a radical act of self love now viewed by 147 million people.

Because Idaho is wild. And, if you dig it, there’s only 1 degree of separation between all things in the state we’re in.

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Maggie Sweet red and gold glitter pull-over, $4, ReStyle thrift store | Toby Robin “Wildaho” t-shirt, $25, Wintry Market | Free People black and gray flecked stretch skirt, $30, Nordstrom’s Rack in NYC |  Frye “Paige” riding boots, $120 at LUX Fashion Lounge (MSRP: $388)

(PS: I also own 3 pieces of kismet-bought original Toby Robin artwork that I will show you sometime when I actually get to decor on Cheep.)

Cheep!

“Layer Cake NY” outfit

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2012_05_08_999_147.neopolitan-cakeI’ve had a bit of a hard time with the winter, in the fashion/spirt sense.

But it’s New Year’s. Time for a radical shift. Time to sweat the details. Time for resoluteness even in the aftermath of all those abandoned resolutions.

2015 was a layer cake. Not always sweet. Not often savored. But something to bite into.

Now in the midst of the ice and the gray, I deck myself in color and texture and prints. Layered with patagucci and a fur. Ready to face an icy NYE. Ready for anything.

SAM_4206Sakowitz fur coat, gift from Anna Demetriades (and her step-grandmother, who had this custom made, probably in the 30s or 40s if I was a tag psychic)  |  Frye “Paige” riding boots, $120 at LUX Fashion Lounge (MSRP: $388)
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KE II by Gianna flower print skirt, $4, Idaho Youth Ranch | Red leather with brass cross-section belt, $2, Idaho Youth Ranch | Jones New York print jacket, $3, Idaho Youth Ranch

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Patagonia black-and-white striped capilene thermal leggings, $20 (sale!), Idaho Mountain Touring | Sami New York purple silk camisole, $3, ReStyle | Lily White black lace top, $3.75, Idaho Youth Ranch

“90’s Red State Sacajewa” outfit

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SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- "Matthew McConaughey" Episode 1689 -- Pictured: Musical guest Adele performs on November 21, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC)For the first Story Story Night of our flagship season, MY OWN PRiVATE iDAHO: Stories of Wild States, I wanted to find the equivalent of the dress Adele wore on Saturday Night Live, which summed up a haute-couture, native-style Thanksgiving, in my leather-fringed mind.

Turns out, I was no Adele. Though I did find myself screaming, Hello, can you hear me? at the Shriners, who, to my nail-biting terror, could not get their sound system to work until five minutes before our show was slated to start. Both my head and my heart nearly exploded. Which seems at least Adele adjacent.

When we were younger and free.

In my own private Idaho, I am in kindergarten, peeing on a tree made of masking tape in the middle of the classroom.

I’d forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.

In my own private Idaho, I am at the summit of Thompson Peak in the Sawtooths under a raincloud clad sky. My hair ominously rises up to meet the atmosphere. As I run my hand through the thick, electric-charged air, sparks go off between each finger. As if I am magic. Then the storm blows over. Leaving me awe-struck, instead.

There’s such a difference between us, and a million miles.

In my own private Idaho, we’re lying on the grass outside my apartment on the last night you’re in town. We’re coming down from mushrooms, gazing at the starry sky. Checking off two of our three main pastimes. You are a terrible idea. A knife to my dignity. If not to my heart or my soul, as those had been previously, thoroughly decimated. The only thing inside me at the time was wasteland, and you. In many ways you saved me too. And one of the last things I said to you was, “This is our own private Idaho.”

Hello from the other side.

It’s a wild ride. This life. In epic fashion, we crash and we burn and—if only we can just make it to the other side—we rise again. To our native state. And somehow we are forged. And the images of ourselves we end up with are not perfect, or exactly flattering. But they are human. They are made of wild, stupid magic.

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Vintage racoon-toned sparkle dress (no tag), loaned (but never returned, oops) by a fan to Story Story Night | Carlisle black leather vest, $3.88 at Restyle |  Frye “Paige” riding boots, $120 at LUX Fashion Lounge (MSRP: $388) | Hand-forged brass bracelet, $40 from a Navajo street vendor in Albuquerque’s Old Town

Theme song of the day: “Private Idaho” by the B-52’s and “Hello” by Adele

Cheep!

“Portal to Another Dimension” outfit

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RRFdirections“I would go as far as I could and hit a wall, my own imagined limitations. And then I met a fellow who gave me his secret, and it was pretty simple. When you hit a wall, just kick it in.” —Patti Smith

I read Just Kids on the plane back home. The book is a wardrobe-esque passageway into the Chelsea Hotel and New York City of the ’60s and ’70s. As seen through the looking glass/lens of Patti Smith—and the snapshots of Robert Mapplethorpe—from the perspective of when they were both nobodies. Just some hungry, curious, passion-struck bodies—risking poverty and vertigo to plumb the depths of art, their voices, their setting, their souls.

At the end of Rauschenberg’s reflecting pool, in front of his giant Studio, stands an off-kilter stone sculpture. “Hey, hey,” I would whisper conspiratorially to anyone around, those just dipping their toes in, “This is a portal to another dimension.” They blinked back at me, lizard-like, unsaying, “OK, weirdo.”

But I went through it. This is what I found: Fear is a thin membrane. And on the other side: Your real life, if you realize it.

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Christopher & Banks silk print top with one real shell button on the top, $3.75, Idaho image140Youth Ranch thrift store | Painted Threads black and white print skirt, $5, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store | Red belt with leather and brass cross section, $2, Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store

Rauschenberg of the Day: The Ancient
Incident (Kabal American Zephyr)

Cheep!

 

“The future is unwritten” outfit

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12183003_10156226551880298_1350767914159611364_oDuring our tour of Rauschenberg’s Captiva compound, I took a lopsided picture of this print on the wall of one of the Studios. “The future is unwritten,” it said. To say everything unsaid.

This is the white hut where the writers go to write. This is the white path made of tiny white shells that leads to the hut where the writers go to write. It is all light. And all white. Except the inside. That is dark rich wood. That smells of cedar. Inside, there is a desk for you to write. A green chair to sit. To sweat it out into the white.

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Lauren Conrad flower print top $3.75 Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store  (I accidentally broke this top because I used it as an impromptu swim suit, then skinny dipped in a bioluminescent plankton glow high, and put it on rather hastily. Salty tears.)  | Bill Blass Sport hot pink button up top $7 – Bend, OR Goodwill | Official Boy Scout green cargo shorts with gold snaps and gold studs lining the pockets, $12, LUX Fashion Lounge) | Kenneth Cole strappy platforms, $7, Serendipity Boutique

Rauschenberg legacy project of the day: Shepard Fairey (the same artist who did Barack Obama’s famous HOPE poster), “The Future is Unwritten,” First Robert Rauschenberg Foundation ‘artist as activist’ project to benefit the Coalition for the Homeless.

Cheep!