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Man Cheep with Dan, Sept. 22, 2011

Dan pretends to hate to Cheep. You just wait, Costello.

The story of Dan‘s girlfriend-enforced (that’s me) wardrobe transformation odyssey is too harrowing and cliff-hangery to go into now, but suffice it to say, whew. Man Cheep is not easy.

But now, I do nothing. Dan is, at heart, admit it goddammit, an instinctual, skillful and playful dresser.

I sometimes think it’s useful to define a sum-up phrase for yourself to help you easily sort through a wide array of styles and options. Dan’s phrase, after much deliberation, is “rockstar sophisticate.” It’s done us well.

So, as the ladies shopped at the Idaho Youth Ranch this weekend, Dan found some steals of his own, perfect for his rockstar lifestyle.

Outfit breakdown:

J. Rent Ltd.  jacket: $3.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden, half-off orange tag sale. Custom tailored for Philip E. Batt according to the stiching. Dahmmmmn.)

Pyke Ltd. shirt: $3.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden)

Natural Issue pants: $3.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden. Doesn’t that brand sound like a bowel movement?)

Some sort of shoes that are probably straight-up Cheep.

Oh wait now who’s feeling like a rockstar? Sophisticate.

Total cost: $11.25

Secret #1 to Man Cheep:

Fit, not Tit.  Dan used to buy ridiculously oversized shirts and jackets. Yes, made for men with man titties.We’ve since learned that the shoulder seam should be no more than about a thumbs width away from the actual shoulder.

Bing. You’ve just been Man Cheeped. For the very first time.

Dan-dendum (courtesy of Dan’s repost of this on his Facebook which proves he loves fashion so, so much):

‎”I’m a model, you know what I mean — and I do my little turn on the cat-walk…”
Seriously, this was a smokin’ sexy outfit, down to the shoes, for a grand total of about $25.

Omissions from the story: Kangol hat, Buffalo Exchange in Burque NM, $6; Bass shoes, IYR on Orchard St. Boise ID, $7.50.

Outfit of the day: Sept. 20, 2011

Rock on, International Ladies Garment Workers’ Union.

Like yesterday’s vision in blue, this dress comes from the weekend’s Youth Ranch run.

Still bearing the original tags from 20-30 years ago, this dress was made by the International Ladies Garment Workers’ Union in the USA.

Damn ladies. Nice work. I feel like I’m on the set of Mad Men, which is what I aim for (at least in my head) most days. I am Peggy Olsen redux, copywriter for the 21st century.

Outfit breakdown:

Connections dress (new! but vintage): $5.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden)

Banana Republic belt: sale $18, MSRP $80

Accessories breakdown: 

Steve Madden bondage sandles: $12 (Ross Dress for Less)

Total cost: $35.75

Cheep! Now carry on.

Outfit of the Day: Sept. 19, 2011

Outfit of the day: Monday, Monday, nah, nah.

I have an epic busy Monday, one week to go to the premiere of Story Story Night at our new venue, the Rose Room, at which I’m telling a story that I still need to pull together, but first I’ll teach the Story Story Studio tonight, but not before I execute a few rush projects for my copywriting business.

But first, I Cheep.

I wanted to show you another blue silk beauty. I got this yesterday while shopping for Story Story Night stage design. Fall is going to be bad ass.

Outfit breakdown:

Jorie 100% silk blue dress: $3.75 (Idaho Youth Ranch-Chinden)

Accessories breakdown:

United Colors of Benetton green suede belt: $0.99 (ReStyle-Orchard + Overland)

Steve Madden green suede kitten heels: $20 (Ross Dress for Less)

Armor Bijoux epic necklace: undisclosed

peacock bracelet: $5 (Buffalo Exchange-Albuquerque, NM)

Total cost: $29.74

Yes, I cut the shoulder pads out of this one too. Easy, breezy, current girl.

Outfit of the day: Sept. 2, 2011

 

The rose period, done as the blue period.

Today, I signed the lease for my first legit office space in the Union Block building downtown.

I am calling this phase in my life the rose period. (Like Picasso’s rose period, I am hoping for an uptick in circus people.) Story Story Night is moving to the Rose Room. And I am ready to bloom. And I’m bringing Cheep with me.

The previous phase in my life was dubbed the blue period on the occasion of my 27th birthday. As a send off to these last 4 years, I give you this vision in blue.

Outfit Breakdown:

Liz Claiborne 100% silk two-piece blue suit w/ shorts: $7.50 (Idaho Youth Ranch-250 N. Orchard Boise, ID 83706)

Tess Studio silk cami: $1.99 (ReStyle-5326 Overland Road, Boise, Idaho 83705)

Total outfit cost: $9.49

Accessories Breakdown:

Agate (or whatever stone this is) necklace: $8 million Turkish lira (circa 2004, so about $6)

RipCurl watch: $36, original MSRP $109 (from Whiskey Militia)

Silver/gold/bronze bracelet: FREE as permanently borrowed gift from sister (Cheep!)

Bandolino blue pumps: $19 (Ross Dress for Less-mall area)

Total accessories cost: $61 + a trip to Istanbul

Cheep! 

I love silk. I love the way it moves and how it feels. I love that it breathes in the summer and acts as the perfect sweat-wicking, warm-upping underlayer in the winter. Thrift stores, like these two stellar spots conveniently located only a few blocks from my house (watch out), have amazing, exquisitely tailored silk pieces for dirt cheap. Usually, it just takes a few snip, snips of the shoulder pads to bring ’em on up to the 21st century.

I usually don’t wear shorts, but hello. I love me a silky two-piece. I could mix and match both top and bottom to paroxysms of exquisiteness. I will also bike in this outfit and feel and look divine. I believe the ideal outfit should allow you to trade out your high heels (I use a small shoe bag from an old suitcase to keep them in, then put that in my bike basket) for some bike friendly, durable flats. Don’t ruin your nice shoes, but why wear spandex when you can wear this? And why drive a car when you can feel the breeze, baby?

Check for 100% silk on the tags ladies, and get down to business.

Outfit of the Day: May 12, 2011

Idaho Business Review photoshoot.

Too legit to quit? Indeed.

Because this year, I am one of Idaho Business Review’s 40 Accomplished Under 40. I love it because my business name is “Jessica Holmes Copywriting” so it’s double billing. Cheap, Cheep!

So, they do this special color insert for the accomplished young guns. This year with both a headshot and full body pose. But fear not. Cheep is here.

My shoot was yesterday at the Knitting Factory. When I take photos for Cheep, I usually get about 20 to 30 complete ass-faced idiot looks to every 1 that will suffice I guess. So I’m hoping the photographer maintains a better click rate.

Outfit Breakdown:

Anna and Frank silk blouse $2 (from Restyle-10243 W Fairview Ave, Boise, ID 83704)

Morgan Taylor Studio Italian merino wool skirt $10 (from Saver’s-10475 West Fairview Avenue
Boise, ID 83704)

Leg Impressions tights, 2 for $2 (from Grocery Outlet-5544 West Fairview Avenue, Boise)

Outfit total: $13

Accessories Breakdown:

Armor Bijoux necklace: undisclosed

Tattoo: $100 (from Chalice Tattoo)

Jeffrey Cambell shoes: $60 (MSRP $120 from Piece Unique & Shoez)

Accessories total: $160

Regarding the outfit: Red looks great on me, and silk hangs and photographs beautifully. I look for silk one-tone, well-cut basics when thrift store shopping. Silk also makes a great sweat-wicking and warm-upping under-layer if you like to bike or be active and look hot instead of just hot.

This skirt is a new 100% “pure extra fine merino wool, with yarn imported from Italy” wrap-around, and came from Savers with the original tags. It’s beautiful and exquisite and a timeless closet basic and covers up my lumps and bumps. Even when awkwardly twisting around in a folding chair to smile towards the non-existent crowds while on the stage of the Knitting Factory.

Best of all, Restyle, Savers and a Youth Ranch are all in the same strip on Fairview. So three birds, one run.

Regarding the accessories: Overboard? Perhaps. But the tattoo is my business card ink pen bird (one of four) and will further my brand with every handshake and photograph. The necklace is a legacy piece supporting the fledgling and bad ass business of one of my closest friends, Bethany Walter. And the shoes are awesome.

Thanks to Kelly Lynae for the outfit tips and thrift store runs.

The epic Rockies’ dress + lightsaber duel

I am flanked by bad ass hot chicks.

My industry, which is advertising (I am an independent copywriter), holds one epic, no-holds-barred awards show every year. Called the Rockies, the event serves as Idaho’s first stage in the national Addy competition, and also as a forum for the 350+ ad peeps in the state to get completely blotto en masse in as little as 20 minutes.

In true Oscar’s style, the organizers pair up presenters to introduce each category and announce the winners. Magically, and probably because I host  Story Story Night monthly without having vomited once, I was asked to be a presenter along with the elites of the agencies. I persuaded my independent designer friend and Armor Bijoux dealer (tagline: “Jewelry for the fashion war.” «We wrote that together. Brilliant.) Bethany Walter to join me on stage.

Rarely do we get these sort of epic dress-up opportunities. I knew I needed something dynamite. And, three weeks ago at Repeat Boutique (500 South Vista Avenue, Boise, ID 83705), I found a vision of wearable vintage art. The craftsmanship and thought that went into this dress is unbelievable. I modestly refer to it as the naked dress. Because as the picture above shows, it looks bare to the navel, but it actually has a smart and sexy nude bodice with an overlay of fine mesh, ornamented with stitched bead and pearl detail that looks like a necklace made for a bad ass queen.

I exaggerate often, but seriously, this is the most f*cking amazing dress I have ever seen in my life. And only $45. My Cheep dress cap is $20-$25, but you have to make occassional exceptions for the epics.

Anyway, when you have such a dress, you must write such a speech. And here is what Bethany and I did, in a very exagerrated way to get the drunkards attention. Bethany’s dress was $100 (half off the $200 MSRP) at Fancy Pants (825 West Idaho Street, Boise, ID 83702). We are both wearing Spanx. Mine for $7 at TJ Maxx. My purple suede shoes were a $45 (half off at Macy’s) birthday gift from my mom and Steve Madden.

***ROCKIES “INTERACTIVE” SPEECH***
[Bethany and Jessica walk on stage.]
Bethany: 
“Interactive and multimedia. This category is epic—a creative battle that pits right brain against left, and good sense against the evil forces of technologically clueless account people.”
Jessica:
“No matter who wins tonight, we all know who the real Jedis are in this category. Programmers, tech geeks, our interactive, interoffice Obi Wans. This is your time. And we honor you now by speaking in only Star Wars metaphors.”
Bethany:
When that Jar Jar Binks from accounts gave you a multimedia assignment from the Dark Side, you pulled a Jedi mind trick, united with the Rebel Alliance on the creative team, and made the jump to light-speed.

Jessica: “Yoda says, ‘Do or do not, there is no try.’ You did, young Skywalker, you did.”Bethany: Now, for the winner. May the force be with you.

Jessica: Congratulations _______________.Jessica: “For our exit, Bethany and I will recreate the most epic blood, sweat and tears battle scene of all time.”

Bethany: “Using the iPhone StarWars Lightsaber Duel app.”

[Bethany and Jessica fight out an exit.]
Thanks to Dan Costello. I couldn’t have written this speech without your expertise.

LUX 50% off everything Friday and Saturday

Strait Lane polyester vintage dress (LUX: $16); Banana Republic belt (sale $18, MSRP $80); Gianni Bini navy leather shoes (LUX $18); glass pearl vintage necklace (Antique World Mall $5); glazed enamel earrings (gift from Cuba).

Unfortunately, this is not a paid advertisement, so heed my words without your inbred capitalist cynicism.

LUX (785 W. Idaho) is by far my favorite place to Cheep shop in Boise. It’s locally-owned and amazingly affordable, and they collect all the boutique cast-offs and sell them new for ridiculous discounts.

Anyhoo…Friday, February 11th and Saturday February 12th is the biggest sale of the year at LUX. 50% off every-f*cking-thing. Halle-freakin-luia.

Cheep glory. Get something haute for V-day, for practically nothing.

I’ll see you there first.

Story-time: Cezanne in Russia

My ass, hosting LIVING WITHOUT in November 2010. (Photo by Erica Sparlin Dryden)

I’m a story addict. Seriously. I dope myself up on the stuff until I just can’t take anymore and then I take some more. I especially like when people read stories aloud. I listen to David Sedaris and Anthony Bourdain (my current out-loud favorites) books on tape over and over and over again until their petulant yet hilarious voices permanently seep into the drywall, emitting the odor of sarcasm.

It’s a reason I am a co-founder of Story Story Night. Free, unfiltered access to stories every month? Yes, please.

So today, I’m introducing a new feature called Cheep Story-time. This will feature original non-fiction and fiction stories by yours truly, Jessica Holmes (or as Dan points out I say on Story Story Night podcasts “Jess-ka Holmes,” or as once known to my then toddler sister “Ca Ca”), a self-acclaimed serious bad ass writer. And they won’t be boring, promise. They will be good stories, read loud. Cheep-tainment, baby!

AUDIOCheep Story-time by Jessica Holmes: Cezanne in Russia

The above story recounts my move, as a naive, idealistic 18-year-old, to Russia. It was a podcast teaser for Story Story Night’s November 2010 theme, LIVING WITHOUT: Stories of Letting Go. If you listen to the end (past the credits) you can hear me sing a Russian song.

Get hooked.

4 basics of Cheep fashion

Anthropologie alpaca sweater (Buffalo Exchange: $40, original MSRP: godforsaken); Bebe wool pants (Buffalo Exchange: $16); handmade in Mexico eel skin and leather boots (Atomic Treasures: sale $75, reg $100); green wood circle earrings (Lux: $1).

My body is wholly unremarkable. When young, this seemed a great hardship. I never grew taller than 5’ 4”. I never developed svelte little muscles to replace my baby fat. And even if I did, I never could develop a tan, so the poor, hard-working dears would be lost in a blinding glare of white.

Nevertheless, I somehow look good, almost everyday. There’s a bros-tale passed around by perplexed men: “Women dress for each other, not for us.” Though so simple to be supposed true, their theory sideswipes the main point. People dress to feel good. Nothing changes the way you walk, the way you carry yourself, they way you interact with strangers and others, more than the choices you make in the closet.

But don’t fear. Fashion is not serious like calculus. It is frivolous and playful.

Big-ticket fashion—in which you pay the actual prices listed in captions to photo shoots—must be a ball. If you can fork over $550 for a brocaded tank top, and you have taste, of course you’ll look good. Cheep fashion offers a different reward. You get both the thrill of the find and the thrill of the deal. It’s fairly narcotic.

I have a few basic cheep tricks to keep me on track. These are like mantras—quick words I repeat in the heat of the moment to stay wise.

#1: Fashion is a luxury.

Fashion is many things, but it is not a necessity. This is no food, no shelter. This is good-weather gear. You may want it, but you don’t need it. In cheep fashion, you can always walk away. Money is freedom. And you don’t want to lose your freedom to all the pretty things.

#2: Be an opportunist.

Time is also a luxury. Don’t waste a luxury on a luxury. Instead, be strategic, and build a great wardrobe over time. When I go to the mall every few months to get mineral foundation from Sephora, I’ll park near Macy’s and do a quick skim of sales on the way. I don’t bother looking at anything other than the deeply discounted racks, and by now, I know exactly where these are at many, many stores. I’ll look at anything at “50% off” or above, but I prefer the “up to 75%” off signs. On lucky days, you’ll find those topped with a red insert: “additional 40% off.” This is the golden city of cheep fashion. Enjoy.

Also, if a Ross Dress For Less is in the area, and you have time, stop, skim and savor the sweetest kills.

#3 Be strict on fabric and fit—but open on color and design.

Cheep fashion is not for the faint of dress. You get a great discount only because what you find is not in great demand from the general buying public. Embrace this. You’ll look chic and unique, and spend way less than the crowd. When skimming sales racks, I’ll look for fabric and fit, then label and price. If you have all four, you have a winner. I like natural fibers, like wool, silk, cotton, linen and some cotton-poly blends, with interesting, precise details and a clean fit. Good labels lend their sold brand reputation and high MSRP to back up your pick.

Then, be adventurous. Try different colors and styles and looks. Pay attention to things you find interesting on other people—on TV shows, on Michelle Obama or Lady Gaga, on hip young things walking down the street. This will help you widen your idea of what works and spin your own wardrobe ideas.

#4: Sum yourself up.

Finally, avoid buying things that are wrong for you by giving yourself a loose concept for your overall look. After all, you’re building a cohesive wardrobe that you’ll want to mix and match. I rely on the word classy. This keeps me from buying things I’ll regret, like cute but ultimately hippy or teen-queen outfits. After some practice, this sorting process becomes rapid fire. Soon, in just a few minutes, you’re finding a fabulous orange Fila cotton skirt/short with tan piping marked down from $150 to $5 in the petite discount section at Ross Dress For Less.

Outfit of the Day: January Story Story Night

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Just in time for dieting, resolutions and self-improvement projects, Story Story Night held HOOKED: Stories of Cravings and Compulsions on Jan. 31, 2011, with three incredible featured storytellers (including the inimitable Al Blank) followed by an open story slam. For Story Story Night (I’m the co-founder, host, copywriter and marketing director of this wildly popular monthly live storytelling program), I try to dress to fit (however obliquely) the theme. I also always try to photograph my outfit for Cheep right before, but never fail to run completely out of time. Fortunately, our photographer Will Jones snapped some stellar stage shots of this stellar dress.

Because my dieting, resolutions and self-improvement projects fizzled out, I did not wear the amazing blue sequin mini-dress I bought at The Youth Ranch for $6.50. Maybe in 20 pounds.

Instead, I wore one of my most fabulous Cheep deals.

Outfit Breakdown:

Red Calvin Klein dress: $22, original MSRP $200 (new from LUX)

Accessories Breakdown:

Necklace: $7.50 (from Antique World Mall)

Armor Bijoux bracelet: Gift (from Bethany Walter, designer and jewelry diva)

RipCurl watch: $36, original MSRP $109 (from Whiskey Militia)

Nine West pumps: $20, original MSRP $80 (from some Macy’s-bought fail of a department store)

Total Cost: $85.50. Cheep!

This dress is unbelievably hot. It was about 5 or 6 inches too long when I found it, which is why, I’m assuming, some rich bitch cast it off unworn to LUX. I had to get it tailored, which more than doubled the cost. (Resolution: Learn to sew.) Still though, it had the original tag, and when I looked up the SKU number online, it was a $200 dress, a bombshell steal. And if you go back to Outfit of the Day: Dec. 18 2010, that’s the silk buttonhook belt that came with this dress. When I wear it with this dress, I look a bit like a fashion-forward bridesmaid, but it works magic for other looks. Sometimes, the included belt is a total Cheep bonus.

Do you compulsively crave bargain shopping? Me too. Let’s stay HOOKED together.